Hello, my friend seems to only be havin this issue but there is more than this one that any of us are havin. The issue we're havin is that every time one of my friends tries to join either of the servers, he crashes. Another issue we have is constant lag spikes at random times, I've even lowered the dino count an still lag

Client side crashes will be due to client side problems. 
The only thing server side that can cause a client crash is when an Admin shoves more mods on their server than a client PC can handle. This is usually seen on lower end CPU, GPU, RAM and Internet connections. ARK hits all 4 of those in a specific way, and the minimum syustem requirements for ARK, is only for The Island Map, with vanilla single player settings. (Misleading, I know, but perfectly legal due to the disclaimer that things may change with Online Play most online games have...)

Lag spikes are caused by CPU usage, or desynced internet connections across all clients. I recommend checking your server chart first to see which your community is having. If you see giant CPU spikes throughout the chart, then it's probably CPU based, and you would need to trouble shoot the common server mismanagements that can lead to CPU issues. If you're not seeing CPU spikes, then you probably have someone with a REALLY bad internet connection on your server that's causing rollbacks to occur. A rollback is when the server predicts a person will be somewhere within X milliseconds, and due to a number of possible factors (internet connection primarily, but can be GPU and/or CPU based in rare circumstances), that player isn't where the server predicted they will be at, so in order to allow all players to be on an even playing field, the server rolls back all other players to where they were before the split occured.

There are some suggestions on how to troubleshoot lag/CPU spikes on the Discord's FAQ, but you may need to also have an employee look at your server, so possibly send in a help email/ticket.